Check out below an essay by student Amanda Teixeira Zampiris from ENEM 2023 that received a thousand points:
Introduction:
In his book entitled “Brazil, Country of the Future,” Austrian author Stefan Zweig, during his visit to Brazil, defended the idea that the country was destined to be one of the most important countries in the world in the future. However, 80 years later, the author’s predictions have not yet come true and the challenges of addressing the invisibility of care work — performed by women — are pakistan mobile database to this. It can be seen, therefore, that this occurs because government negligence and historical persistence prevent the resolution of the issue.
Development 1:
From this perspective, it is necessary to pay attention to the State's failure to address this issue. From this perspective , the thinker Thomas Hobbes states that the State is responsible for ensuring the well-being of the population. However , this is not the case in Brazil, as the lack of action by the authorities corroborates the persistence of unpaid and poorly paid care work carried out mainly by women — which includes caring for children and the elderly, as well as household chores — since the Government has not fulfilled its role in ensuring basic rights to this social group, such as the right to a decent wage. Thus, social and State functions are not fulfilled, worsening the problem.
Development 2:
Furthermore , historical permanence is an important factor in constituting this imbroglio. In this sense, according to the thinking of anthropologist Claude Lévi-Strauss, it is only possible to adequately understand collective actions through an understanding of historical events. Thus , the issue of the invisibility of care work performed by women who are mostly poor and victims of gender discrimination, even though it is strongly present in the 21st century, has roots that are inseparable from Brazilian history — which was marked by machismo and patriarchy — since unpaid domestic activities are still delegated almost exclusively to women.
Example of addition connectives in the ENEM essay:
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